What do you do when you’re pissed off.

Every day I try to learn and grow as a person.

I try to do the right things.

I try to be patient.

When things aren’t going my way “I say what can I learn from this?”, or “what did I do to cause this?”

But some days I’m just pissed off!

Like today!

I’m in bad form. I tell myself I should be getting work done, or I should be working on my projects I really want to get done, but I’m just pissed off. 

Often I can fight the bad form feeling. I can get over it and do what needs to be done. But when I feel like I do today I feel like I don’t deserve anything good to happen to me. I feel like I don’t deserve my life to get better. I live in more fear than ever of things going wrong or taking a step (fall) backwards in life.

Despite this I have to make sure I do two things:

• Eyes front. Keep focussed (even ever so gently) on my next step up in life. No matter how tiny that step is, it’s better than focussing on what’s behind me because if I do that I’ll fall
• Be aware of myself. I may not be able to bring myself to moving forward or getting better or being good to myself, but at the very minimum I can be aware of my thoughts and feelings and how things affect me, and hopefully learn from that. Maybe next time it’ll be easier to deal with or avoid the down time due to what I’ve learned. One way or the other I’ll learn something, and that’s always good

So I’m wallowing today…but I’ll use my wallowment for my betterment!!!

Look at my yin yang coffee

I’ve mentioned a few times in recent posts about the importance of balance and then today I get this coffee…
Synchronicity anyone?

How to move up a level in life – just a little bit!

I have found that a lot of the time in life you feel like you’re trying to get out of a hole. 

I mean, it’s not so much that you’re trying to make your life better but rather that you’re trying to avoid it getting worse, or maybe trying to escape from something you don’t like, for example, debt, depression over something that happened (like a breakup or grief or something), dealing with difficult people, and so on.

We all have our things in life that we’re trying to deal with, escape from. 

Sometimes you manage to climb up a little bit out of that hole. You’re slowly getting near the top, and bang you slip back down to the bottom again. Often this fall is so depressing that you want to lie there for a while and just give in and wallow in it.

It’s like you’ve finally gotten to take a step forward, or rather a step up. You’re on the next level up in life. Things are just a little bit better, but now you’re worst fear is falling back down again. You’re feeling precarious on this step. You aren’t sure of your footing. You’re teetering there afraid of falling down again, and unfortunately you do. Sometimes you gently slip back down to where you were without even realising what’s going. Sometimes you fall hard. I think the former is the more usual.

I think part of the problem here is this. You finally pick up the courage, the confidence, the physical and mental energy to make that step up, and as you do that, as you place your foot on the next step up you’re thinking 

“Shit I’m gonna fall, I’m gonna fall, I’m gonna fall. Please don’t let me fall back down there. I’ve finally just gotten up a little and I’m gonna fall again. Please don’t let me…”

All your energy is focussed on where you were. You’re not focussed on where you want to be – the next step up. Don’t worry about getting to the top. Don’t worry about falling down again. Just focus on the next step up.  When you’re driving you’re supposed to look where you want to go, not where you’re frightened to go. The same applies here. Focus on the next step. Even though youve only just gotten on to this step. Even though you’d like to solidify your presence here, ground your feet here. Even though you think you should be confident before moving on.

Life doesn’t work that way. 

Just keep on moving up. Even though it might take you a long time to make it to that next step, keep looking at it anyway. You are going to make it, because the only other option is falling back down. It’s far easier to lift something heavy than it is to hold it. 

Don’t try to hold your position on this step. It’s too difficult. Keep moving up. Slowly, steadily, small steps but you are doing it. You are moving up. Set fire to the step behind you so you know you can’t fall back there. It can’t be a cushion for you any longer. 

Step up, and love it. 

Feel fantastic because you are fantastic. Every step up you take is a massive achievement. You are moving onward and upward. You know where you’re going. 

Feel fantastic. Love it!

The best form of motivation!

Whatever the definition of motivation, whatever the reason behind it, generally what we mean by motivation is something that makes us get off our asses and get things done.

Those things might be achieving goals, getting work done, tidying the house, getting fit, and so on.

The main point here is, that it’s all about motivating yourself to take action. 

You can read all the self help books you want. You can do all the meditations you want. You can listen to all the pep talks you want…

but by far the most motivating thing of all is:

ACTION!

Balance is important in all things.

Motivation may inspire you to action but the thing is that action is what breeds your motivation.

So the next time you’re feeling bored, lethargic, lazy, whatever, and you know you’ve got to get things done, take action.

Even the smallest action breeds a small amount of motivation. 

Keep that action moving for a short period of time and you’re motivation will increase without you even realising it until eventually it seems to require no energy to power you, or no thoughts to drive you. 

It just happens.

I’ve started using the Wii for this purpose. When I’m in my office and I find myself just browsing the web or whatever and basically getting nothing done I go play Tennis or Boxing on the Wii until I feel alive again. 

It’s so much easier to face the work I want to do in my office then. I usually get a burst of work done and then if I need to I go back to the Wii again. 

I think definitely it needs to be a “burst” of energy. Those games get my heart rate going, they get me up and moving. You need something to do that to you. The fact that the games are fun and challenging helps for me too. Sometimes I’d go do something different that requires movement like tidying the kitchen or whatever but definitely it doesn’t have the same effect.

You want something that gets your heart rate going but doesn’t tire you out. If at all possibly it should be a challenge and involve achieving some sort of goal because then not only will your energy start flowing but also you’ll feel better about yourself because you’ve achieved a goal (or at least gotten closer to it).

I like the Wii because it’s getting me active and so is contributing to my fitness(One of my goals). I can do it anytime I want. It’s fun and challenging. As I get better my opponents do also. I have a goal to aim for.

So, to summarise:

• Take action to feel motivated.
• The action should. 
• Involve a burst of energy.
• Get your heart rate going.
• Not tire you out.
• be easy to just do without a lot of preparation (none if possible).
• and if possible.
  • be fun and challenging.
  • and achieve some small goal of yours.

What do you have in your life, or what can you find that’ll fit those criteria?

Have fun!

The God Delusion – An open letter to Richard Dawkins

Dear Mr. Dawkins,

Apologies if I should have said Dr. Dawkins, but the book is way over there and I don’t want to move.

I have been reading “The God Delusion” and it is excellent.

Brilliantly argued.

Your logic is flawless.

The rationality is unbreakable.

Every point is excellently made.

But all of it is irrelevant.

Trying to prove that God doesn’t exist with rational arguments is just as pointless as trying to prove that God does exist with rational arguments.

You are arguing against people who’s arguments are as pointless as your own.

This book is primarily an attack on Faith. I think Faith is a beautiful thing and those that have a true pure faith are for want of a better word blessed. 

I agree with your motives on many points. I completely agree with you when you attack people’s misuse of faith. I think that the misuse and misrepresentation of faith has been the cause of many terrible acts through history.

But that is not the main motivation behind your book.

As I said it is primarily an attack on Faith.

The thing is you can’t attack faith with logic or rational arguments. 

There is no logic to faith. It just is. (I know people try to argue rationally in favor of, and against faith but really you can use logic to prove just about anything you want).

There is nothing wrong with faith. There can be problems with actions taken in the name of faith but that doesn’t make faith wrong.

The interesting thing about your book is that the most prominent illumination in it is the strength of your own faith. 

Your faith that there is no God!

It’s still faith.

Let’s all have a little more magic in our lives!

Are you trustworthy? – The two components of trust

Are you trustworthy?

Can I trust you?

In friendships and relationships a lot is spoken about the concept and importance of trust. And it is important, we all know that.

We all want to know our friends or partners can be trusted. 

A person who is trustworthy tends to be highly valued. I think all of us would like to be, or think of ourselves as trustworthy.

There is however another component to trust that is often downplayed or ignored.

All things need balance in the universe.

Being trustworthy is very difficult without some trust.

That is, I can be trustworthy if you trust me, and the more you trust me the easier it is for me to be trustworthy. (This of course assumes that I want to be trustworthy and I’m not setting out to deliberately fool you)

Think about it:

If you trust me then you are essentially making an emotional investment in me.

I repay that (or balance that) by being trustworthy to you.

If you trust me and I betray that trust then I am hurting both of us. 

I hurt you, by betraying your trust; and myself because I will feel guilty for betraying you after the trust you have put in me. 

If you expect me to be trustworthy without you putting your trust in me then it is difficult for me. There is no balance. I will try to be trustworthy because I want to be but it is more difficult for me because I know that you don’t trust me. I know that you are not investing in me but still I have to pay you back anyway.

By trusting me you are taking a risk on me.

By being trustworthy I am making the effort for you.

By both of us doing that there is balance and we both gain interest on our investments. Next time it is easier and trust is stronger.

Next time you want someone to be trustworthy remember that they need something from you too…trust

Just for today, accept everything that happens

That old guy driving in front of you…don’t get yourself all het up and annoyed, no matter how late you are. 

Just say to yourself – I accept this reality completely.

Your toast falls butter side on the floor. Don’t get annoyed, no matter how hungry you are.

Just say to yourself – I accept this reality completely.

You walk into a door in public (because you’re rushing?) 

Just say to yourself – I accept this reality completely.

A lot of our day to day stress comes from us refusing to accept situations. Acceptance means letting go. These things annoy you and stress you out because they’re not the way they’re meant to be (in your mind). So you’re trying to force them to be the way you envision them. This doesn’t happen, and you are stressed, and then more stressed, and then more stressed.

Decide that just for today you’re going to accept everything…

…and enjoy one lovely calm stress free day!

Life really is crap…but you made it that way

Life’s hard.

Life’s tough.

Life’s a bitch…etc etc etc.

I agree.

Life is hard. Very hard. For some more so than others.

But then we can’t compare ourselves to others. 

My pain is my own. Yours is not mine. Mine is not yours.

The thing to remember is that mostly the reason life is hard is because you choose it to be that way. I know you want to argue that point but it is a fact that everytime you are sad it is because you are reacting to something in a sad feeling way. You are choosing sadness. Your ego doesn’t want to believe this so it will make you come up with suitable rational arguments. It doesn’t matter. The truth is the truth no matter how you spin it.

We can, at any time we want to, choose to be happy. No matter what is happening or how you are feeling you can choose to smile. You just think you can’t. Your ego doesn’t want you to. It’s trying to protect you.

Try it.

Next time you’re feeling sad or angry or whatever, think about this. Are you choosing to be that way? Could you just flip the switch and choose to be happy? Your ego won’t want you to know the truth, but you’ll know it. Deep deep down you’ll know.

And that’ll make you angry.